THE OLD NEW NORMAL, Chapter 8: The Old New Schedule


By Liz McLeod

“Another schedule change!” roared Miss Carol T. Cat. 

Actually, it wasn’t so much a roar as a loud yowl. Miss Carol finds roaring declasse, but she is capable, when roused, of generating a piercing mezzo-soprano. Suffice it to say that her statement was delivered with force and emphasis. Especially as she was perched on my desk staring straight into my baggy old eyes as she delivered it.

“Yeah,” I replied, with decided enthusiasm. “But you’ll LIKE it!”

“Your judgement concerning that which I might, in fact, ‘like’ has proven to be sadly deficient over these recent weeks,” she snapped back. “The matter of a certain brutal abduction comes to mind.”

“I took you to the vet,” I retorted, “and that trip likely saved your life. So stop beefin’.”

“I cannot tolerate beef,” she declared. “You should be aware, after a decade, of my meal preferences. Which do not, incidentally, include vile orange-colored tablets.”

“Yeah,” I eyerolled, “I’m sure glad we’re done with that.” She may or may not realize I’m still spiking her food with her prescribed medication, but she’s been, with the aid of dollops of rich poultry-based gravy, cooperating. So that’s something, anyway. “But this new schedule at the Strand is gonna be somethin’ you’re gonna like, honest. I’ll actually have a bit of time in the afternoon to spend with you, and you can sit in my lap and be all sweet and stuff. If you want, of course.”

Miss Carol scowled. She can, indeed, be all sweet and stuff when she chooses to do so, but she is self-conscious about admitting it. So I know better than to press the point. But nevertheless, the new Strand schedule will offer benefits both to her – and to you, our many friends and patrons. As of this Thursday, September 2nd, we’re returning to a full seven-day-a-week schedule at the theatre. There’ll be something doing every night of the week as we head into the fall, with a selection of fine motion pictures to entertain you as the autumnal shadows draw nigh.

It was Miss Carol’s turn to roll her eyes at that bit of cliché, but hey, clichés are the spice of life, or something. Whattaya want from me, I’m on a deadline.

In any event, this new seven-day-a-week schedule will also see the Strand returning to its traditional showtimes for both weekday and weekend screenings. Starting this week, our Friday and Saturday shows return to their former 5:30pm and 8pm time slots, the better to accommodate our patrons who like to grab a meal at one of our many fine local restaurants before their movie experience, and Sunday will feature our popular 3pm matinee and an early-evening show at 5:30 pm for those for whom Monday’s a workday. Monday thru Thursday evenings will feature 7pm screenings, with Monday remaining our bargain-night special, with all non-member tickets priced at $8. And our Tuesday matinee will return to its traditional 1 PM start time, which will be a big boost for our friends out on the islands who need to catch the afternoon boat home. As always you’ll want to keep an eye on the Strand website and social media for all the latest information on upcoming films and events, especially in these days where circumstances may require adjustments as we move ahead into the fall and winter.

“The crucial question however,” interrupted Miss Carol, “remains unaddressed. As you know, a felid with my diagnosis should be permitted all the sustenance she wishes to eat.  Of course you know I shan’t permit this new schedule to disrupt my necessary feeding routine. My health, after all, is at stake.”

“Nothing,” I insisted, “could possibly disrupt my performance of my duty to you. I will at all times remain aware of my obligations.”

“See that you do,” Miss Carol commanded. “Indeed, the hour has arrived for my noon meal. And do not conclude that I am unaware that you have for nearly two weeks been lacing that meal with a foul-tasting antibiotic. I require that you increase the quantity of gravy provided in each serving.”

“I will,” I sighed. Schedules may change, but my role in the universe does not.

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